I completely lost my sense of humor when I realized offensive things aren’t funny so now I just rely on heavy sarcasm and everyone thinks I’m a dick
Zelda GIF Challenge: [2/5] Favorite Characters → Sheik
“Time passes, people move… Like a river’s flow, it never ends… A childish mind will turn to noble ambition… Young love will become deep affection… The clear water’s surface reflects growth…”
employer: why should we hire you?
me: i got first place on Rainbow Road
employer: holy shit
thug life more like ugh life
the funny thing about dril posts is that they actually do have a structure to them– they hit a kind of conceptual caesura halfway through, a point where there’s no inevitable logical connection between what’s been said and what’s still to come. here, the first sentence didn’t need to result in the second, yet it’s not “lol random” either; the speaker is angry about his boss’ draconian ferret-kissing policy, and reacts in kind, and even the reference to a “screen saver” reminds us that we’re in an office. it’s a narrative progression that, despite having an internal logic, alienates its punchline from its setup. who the hell is this person?
one thing i love about @dril posts is how they all seem to take place in a universe that is somewhat like our own, but with the habitus of white middle america taken to a bizarre, absurd, but strangely logical conclusion. take this one, for instance:
so we have our setting: a security guard protecting the american flag in the betsy ross museum, something almost archetypically american and middle class. but once again the first part, or setup, for the punchline, “fucking the flag,” careens the joke into an alien punchline that still, given the setting, makes sense. @dril’s security guard character imitates a sort-of cop-talk, the banter of a security guard, “buddy, they wont even let me fuck it”. you can imagine a similar response from a guard at any museum, but we’re talking about Fucking the American Flag, here.
i really love @dril.
it’s astonishing that a human being thinks of those posts. some person, someone out there whose existence we have to infer, because all we know is that those posts occur and they must be coming from somewhere. “the @dril tweeter” resonates as “the beowulf poet” does, except beowulf (which i’ve only read in translation, so i’m not an authority) has never made any use of the english language as baffling and sublime and somehow primally interlaced with the stuff of human consciousness as “IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL.”
This is my favorite post, I am so glad I found it again.
when no one in class is ready for the test
Billboard demonstrating gender stereotypes as most people automatically assume that Alex is the boy.
one of my dads friends texted my dad to come over and dad was like “yeah on my way” and then did other stuff around the house for a while with a few texts from his friend like “are you really on your way” and finally dad opened the garage door to leave and his friend was sitting in our driveway giggling to himself