darnhomosexuals:

sometimes Cracked is so weirdly on point

coochiejuice:

The thing about horror movie situations is imma do my best to help you but if we running and you fallin or we hidin and you whimperin and sobbin, that’s it! I can’t do nothing else for you! You have made the choice to be a damsel in distress and boo this ain’t Camelot I have 0 time to die

annakendrickofficial:

a shout out to all the people who started saying “same” as a joke once in awhile but now use it for the most random things like a car honking their horn at another car

aktx:

tarntino:

me: *sees a white boy* *locks my car doors*

white boy: *knocks on window* what would you be doing if I was in there with you ;)

annoyings:

phosphorescentt:

can we please destroy this idea that a person has to talk to you every minute of every day to like you

texting all day is not natural

force communication all hours of the day is not natural

hoLY FUCK THANK U

callmeoutis:

snoop dogg gives off this vibe that he doesn’t really have a plan but he still knows exactly what he’s doing and like i strive for that

smaug-king-under-the-mountain:

alwaystakeatoweltoaparty:

qtmaster:

soundlyawake:

my-name-is-really-neil-mcneil:

luna-del-ravenclaw:

FUCK 

HER

RIGHT

IN

THE

Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.

andbrittlebones:

My favourite translator said that when she was an ambassador for Hungary she took all these Japanese politicians on a tour and she was trying to circumtranslate ‘merry go round’ cause she didn’t know the Japanese word for it by calling it a ‘horse tornado for children’ and they had no blessed idea what she was saying and she finally started running in circles going up and down and they go ‘ohhhhh, in Japan we call those ‘merry-go-rounds’”

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

kyungsoo - ‘die jungs’ photobook

whiteshells:

stonedpervert:

thelittlestonedfox:

I usually don’t reblog these but oh my god

i love retail robin

That bird is on point.

Hahaha on point

lysnk2:

image

deanprincesster:

women: being a woman is hard

men: I thikn youre forgetting something: it is also hard to be a man. just letting you know that you forgot to mention that when you were talking about being a woman